Vicki Leaman shares the story of her son Taylor for Suicide Prevention Day, September 10, 2014

In recognition of World Suicide Prevention Day, we are honoured to post this article written by one of our amazing and courageous volunteers, Vicki Leaman.  This also marks our return to the Mental Health in Mind blog, and we couldn't be more grateful to Vicki for sharing her story with us as we return to the blog after an extended break.  Please look for more regular posts and if you have a story or idea to share - and of course any comments on this post - please leave a comment below.

Vicki Leaman (R) Nicole Chin (L) and at Clara's Big Ride 2014

My name is Vicki Leaman. I lost my wonderful son Taylor on April 22, 2008. He was 18. Taylor was a very happy, smart, athletic, popular child until he turned 12.  He became a different person before my eyes and after about 7 or 8 months he was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety.

My life became focused on trying to find him the right medication, therapy and school support.  Every day was trying to find the balance of encouraging him to go to school or his sports or letting him cope by staying home and playing video games or watching TV.

He made suicide attempts December 2006 and April 2007.

When he died in April 2008 it was overwhelming, my worst nightmare had come true and to make things worse, my sister had passed away just 11 days before.  I had lost my baby and my support system all at once.

I initially went into shock and became suicidal myself but I had wonderful friends that were there for me EVERY DAY and I have a daughter.  She was what kept me going.  She was in university and only had 6 months till graduation and every day I just kept thinking I couldn’t put her though losing her mother as well.  Once she graduated her convocation wasn’t for another 6 months and again I thought I needed to be there for her she had worked so hard and been through so much.  By then a year had passed and I got past other hurdles; going to the store, a walk, showering and brushing my teeth most days.  They sound like such every day, take for granted things but they were huge accomplishments in the beginning.  I wouldn’t have been able to do it without my medications, friends and therapist.

After about 18 months, I got angry.  Many holes in the health care and education systems had let my son down and also had made it difficult for me to find mental health support (I was diagnosed with PTSD and still suffer from controlled symptoms today).  And that’s when things changed.

I had been through the system and I knew things needed to change.  I wanted to make my son’s life to make a real difference and I could do that!  I am only one person and I can’t change the world but I do have friends, and they have friends, etc.

I decided my main focus would be the reduction of the mental health stigma through education.  I have:

• Held parties to celebrate Taylor’s birthdays
• Raised more than $4000 for the Adolescent Psychiatric Unit at Vancouver’s Children’s Hospital via a Pub night and in lieu of flower donations
• Held an event for World Suicide Prevention Day Sept.10, 2011, with speakers from suffering from mental health Illnesses and representatives from various support agencies in our local area.

I’m currently working as a volunteer with CMHA and my community cultural center.

My life will never be the same and I still struggle with an emotional roller coaster but when I look back to the dark days and months after my son’s death I can see a big improvement.  I know others are making the same type of efforts I am.  Together we WILL make a difference!  For every person that is educated re mental health the negative stigma is weakened.  In the future, research for medications and therapies will make wonderful changes and mental health illnesses will receive the same support and understanding as cancer and AIDS do now.

Mental Illness Awareness Week

Oops.

Just two days into the new 'schedule' of blogging, and we're already behind! Still, we can always pick up and keep on going, which is exactly what we are going to do (and we're going to tie two topics from the schedule together).

Mental illness has too long been in the shadows, something that society has kept quiet about, and kept hidden out of shame and discomfort. That is why we are so pleased that it seems that recently it seems to have come out of the shadows somewhat, thanks to a great many programs, events, initiative, and, most importantly, people. We will talk more about these in future posts, but for today we'd like to point out that Mental Illness Awareness Week, a global event, has been in existence for almost 20 years in Canada. This event puts real faces to mental health issues in order to reduce stigma, and to illustrate that recovery is possible. In 2009 the week takes place from October 4th to 10th, with activities taking place around the country. In Vancouver, some of these events include depression, anxiety and risky drinking screenings as part of Beyond the Blues. Keep checking this blog or the official site for more information about specific dates and sites.

Another important organization that is working to raise awareness about mental health issues and reduce stigma is the Mental Health Commission of Canada. Canada is currently the only G8 nation without a mental health strategy, and the Commission is working to change that through various initiatives, including those that embrace the idea of a national partnership of people and organizations working to reduce stigma and improve the lives of those living with mental illnesses. For more information on how you can help, visit their site.

There is still much work to be done, but these are the events that present the faces of those living with mental illness, who may be our family, friends, neighbours, co-workers, us.

Bus beheader to remain in psychiatric care, board rules… (Winnipeg Free Press Published: Wednesday, June 03, 2009)

This headline and story from the Winnipeg Free Press is disturbing. I am disappointed that the media would perpetuate the impression that mental illness and violence automatically go hand –in –hand. I understand the desire to create snappy headlines but do not feel that this should take precedence over the use of respectful language. The stigma associated with mental illness is already profound and pervasive without referring to a person by an illness. It does not pay respect to any individual as a whole person, with both positive and negative attributes, to label them by one (admittedly horrific) action with the use of such a glib and tasteless phrase and , in cases like this, may prevent others from seeking help because the risk of stigma and misunderstanding may be increased. It is documented that approximately “one in five British Columbians is living with some form of mental disorder or other, but fewer than a third will ever get treatment…not due to the lack of mental health resources or effective treatments, but too often because people fear being labeled according to age old stereotypes of people with mental health problems.”

We would not think of referring to a person as cancerous – just think of the image that brings to mind. Yet, again and again, we are bombarded with public examples of this misuse of language associated with mental health concerns, and for that matter, other social issues that make us uncomfortable. The term ‘bus beheader’ in a headline is reductive and dismissive towards the lives of both men involved in the tragedy of that night last year. What happened was terrible and tragic, but also anomalous – the result of lack of better services for those with mental illness, of better understanding in general about mental illness, and a tragic illustration of how stigma has real impact on lives.

I am pleased that the The Mental Health Commission of Canada has recently begun a 10-year Anti-stigma / Anti-discrimination Initiative. I would urge you to take a few moments to check out their website and to help shape a positive change for those Canadians living with mental illness and those who love them.

The Cross Canada Run - Wayne Cho over 8000 km of Hope

Wayne Cho began running across Canada (East to West) on May 23, 2008. This week he arrived in Vancouver.

Wayne is running to raise awareness of anxiety and depression. Each day he is breaking down the stigma one foot in front of the other at a time.

Today Wayne came and met with some staff at CMHA VB Branch. Tonight he will meet some participants of our Chinese Mental Health Promotion Program. As I felt this afternoon, they will be impressed, inspired and awed by this amazing young man.

Wayne, speaks with such clarity and passion about facing your fears and just trying your best. He believes in the power that is in all of us and our ability to do great things. His accomplishment is an example.

I want to recommend that everyone take some time and read Wayne's blog. It is a rare and wonderful look at Canada, Canadians and the power to change minds.

Thanks Wayne.

What would you do?

Did you know that a partner is four times more likely to leave you because of a mental health condition like depression than because of a physical disability?

Considering that 1 in 5 people in Canada will experience a mental health issue during their lifetime, chances are pretty good that you or someone you know with grapple with this experience.

How can you help?

For starters, we would like you to be aware of the impact of language. Consider the old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” – not true. A recent study has found that the use of discriminating language, even unintentional references, can be detrimental to a person’s mental health.

You can also learn more about mental health issues, including mental illness. There are many ways to expand your knowledge in this area but we would ask that whatever you do, you challenge the stereotypes that you may come across in the media. Visit this excellent British site to test what your response might be in a number of scenarios.

A good place to start - take the time to talk to someone you know who lives with a mental illness - everybody has a story to tell. Read a book, surf the web, or take a course. Mental Health First Aid is one example of the courses that we are proud to offer.

Your investment in time will help you to help others, especially a person who may be experiencing a mental health issue. After all, the more facts we have about mental illness, the more able we are to help dispel the myths.

The choice is yours.